I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
