For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
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