we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
