i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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