so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
