Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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