Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
