I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
