How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
