i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
40s are totally the cure
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
