She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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