I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
