I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
