Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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