Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
