I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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