He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
My ass is underappreciated
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
