I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
