hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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