I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
