I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
