I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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