your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
This is not my ceiling
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
