So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
