When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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