They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
