True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
