Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
