Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
