im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
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