eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
