bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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