yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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