I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I think a kid would responsible me up
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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