508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
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