Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
