he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I queefed so loud it echoed.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
A bitchslap is in order.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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