We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
