Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
