Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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