Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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