that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
