Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
