the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
