FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
