Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
