There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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