Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
