You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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