Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
