There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
She said her name was "party"
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
