is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I looked at my own cervix.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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